Dear Adri: A Cannabis and Life Advice Column

Dear Adri,

I’m super eager and interested about working in the cannabis industry, I've been at the same job for about 9 years. It just doesn't make me happy; I feel like I'm just going with the motions, but I know I am passionate about cannabis. What's the best way to get my

foot in the door? I understand I may take a pay cut at first, but I just want to be happy. Do you think it's too risky?

-Maryjane Makes Me Happy

Hey there Maryjane Makes Me Happy,

I think we have all been there, just waking up and getting through the day at our job that we don't really care about… I know I have. I think you need to sit down first and write out a plan, and what are your goals a week from today, two months from today, and a year from now. Before you make that leap, at least have a plan on paper. Now, as far as getting your foot in the door, start showing up. There are so many industry events… put on a nice outfit, and get in front of these companies, because a lot of people running the operations will be there. Cannabis brands are looking for people they can trust and who can represent them well. Sometimes it takes looking someone in their eye to know, and you can show brands you support them by interacting on their social media and sharing their content. It will show you have an interest in what they have to offer, and is an easy way to get noticed.

Lastly, you deserve to do the things in life that make you happy that fill you up. You really only have one opportunity to get the things you want out of life, and that is not without risk. Trust what your gut is telling you, you deep down, know what's best for you.

Dear Adri,

I've been following you on social media for a while; I'm also a bigger woman, and I just want the confidence you have. I haven't always been bigger, and I guess it's just hard for me to get used to. I try to lose weight but not much success. Have you always been confident? I don't want to be sad about my body, or avoid mirrors any more. -Looking For Something

Hey Looking For Something,

I get it, we live in a society that has unrealistic standards for all women. Too big, lose some weight… too skinny, eat a burger. We can't really win when it comes to other people and their judgements. We have to change the narrative. Who cares if you have fat on your body; it doesn't make you less of a person. Being fat isn't a personality type or a lifestyle; you're a person who just happens to have fat on their body. I think I found my confidence when I let that thought guide me: I'm still an amazing mom, I'm still a good friend, I’m still a hard worker. You have to remind yourself of these things, because the outside isn't what holds value. You can find power in the words you speak to yourself, so stop saying those negative things out loud, and look at yourself and be nice. My confidence comes from me, not what people tell me to feel about me. You deserve to feel loved by yourself; diet culture can hurt too. Food is not your enemy; you need it but eat when you’re hungry and until you are satisfied. You also don't have to be addicted to the gym, but go for a walk a few times a week with your friends or family, and get up a stretch a few times out of the day. Do not work out to lose weight… do it to feel better.

Dear Adri,

I have a friend who used to be the life of the party, and now this person is so negative and hard to be around. I can tell they get defensive if any little thing comes up. I don't even want to bring it up for fear of a fight, but if I step away, they will get just as defensive. What can I do?

-My BFF Is A Grouch

Hey My BFF Is a Grouch,

Sometimes our friends are going through things they don't tell us, and it shows in their negative energy. I guess first, you have to ask yourself how important this relationship is to you. Other people's burdens are not yours to carry, but sometimes their burdens are our burdens, and we just have to stick with them. If this person is someone you care about deeply, then it's time to confront them. This person may just need to feel heard. I always ask my friends before we start venting if they just want to be heard, or if they want solutions. This may be a good way to avoid the defensiveness coming from your friend, and they just may need an ear. Now your job is to listen, with no judgment. Be a safe space, be understanding, and offer comfort. Negativity isnt forever. We all hit bumps, we all feel stagnant, we all just need compassion. If you're reading this and you might be relating more to the negative friend, your sadness or anger is valid… but don't let it be permanent. Feel it, then find a way to make it better. My favorite quote: “you are not a tree… move”.

Dear Adri,

The holidays are coming up, and I hate going to my in-laws. They're always so pushy and condescending towards me, and I'm just more comfortable at home or with my parents. What do I tell my significant other?

-Am I The Grinch

Hey there Am I The Grinch,

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries! We always want to impress our in-laws at first, and we want to be respectful, but we don't always get that in return. As boundaries get pushed more and more, it just gets worse. First you have to tell your significant other how you are feeling. It’s important that they have your back. I personally don't go anywhere I don't feel welcomed, and my partner has stood behind that for me too. It’s hard at first, but don't suffer through awkward situations to make other people happy; it’s not fair to either of you, and it just builds up unnecessary tension. The holidays should be special. You should be with someone who supports your boundaries and reinforces those boundaries, especially around their family.

Dear Adri,

I just don’t feel comfortable in my clothes lately, I just want to wear sweats and t-shirts. How can I feel good again?

-Messy Hair Kind Of Care

Hey Messy Hair Kind Of Care,

9 times out of 10 we dont feel comfortable because we are not physically comfortable… you can't keep trying to fit into things that no longer fit you. Whether you lose or gain weight, it's important to wear things that fit your body. Don't try to squeeze into your old clothes; you are not meant to fit clothes, clothes are meant to fit you. There are plenty of places with affordable cute styles now; you can even go to a trade company. If this doesn't convince you, sweats can still look cute if you dress them up correctly… you can still wear sweats and be the baddest in the room! If you ever need more sweat pant inspo, check out my tik tok @adrianashalisa.